Good Question, Child

A few days before New Year’s Eve I thought to myself maybe the kids and I could toast to the new year at midnight. I’d get some bubbly Prosecco and they’d have their sparkling grape juice.  In the end I never opened my bottle at all; it’s still in the fridge, waiting for some time in the future when I might share it with friends. The kids sipped their juice and did a better job at staying awake than I.

Aside from entertaining, I don’t usually have alcohol in the house. I will drink wine when I go to dinner with other adults sometimes, but it’s not something I think about at home for some reason. The kids are aware of alcohol, in that if they know they aren’t supposed to taste it, and have been around my family when beer and wine have been served, but until recently our conversations about alcohol mainly revolved around making sure they understood they weren’t to touch or drink any until they were grown ups.

As we headed into the liquor section at Costco to find the Prosecco before New Year’s Isla asked me, “Remind me again why kids can’t have alcohol?”

So I went into what alcohol does to a person – explained it can make people feel very sick if they drink too much, make them walk and talk funny, cause them to have trouble making the right choices. I told them that only adults were able to understand when they’d had too much to drink, and it was important for grown ups to be aware of that because it was dangerous and illegal to drive a car if they became intoxicated. I said that in extreme cases people died because too much alcohol in their systems was like poison and could kill.

“Wow,” Isla said, her eyes wide. “I wonder why they even make products like that?

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Shopping, According to a Five Year Old

My kids have no saving bones in their bodies. If they have a handful of coins, they want to spend them. The most immediate shopping experience they usually have after acquiring some loose change is going to the grocery store. Their limited funds mean they’re buying things like gum or squishy animal things from vending machines.

Yesterday Grant had $1.44. He carried it in his plaid short pockets and jingled the quarters, dimes and pennies as he walked. As I unloaded the groceries onto the conveyor belt at the checkout he announced to everyone within hearing distance, “I have a LOT of money, you know.”

After much hemming and hawing, he chose a package of Rolos from the temptation rack. I helped him count out his coins and give them to the cashier; he was beaming with anticipation of the treat in his future.

As we walked out to the parking lot he said, “I traded my money for chocolate and a receipt!”

Love how kids can make you see a mundane task with fresh eyes. Yes, Grant, Mommy trades her money for food and receipts each week at the grocery store.

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These Are His Conditions

We are going bowling today to celebrate my younger brother’s 28th birthday. It was a last minute affair, I got a call this morning from another brother asking if we could join them. Not much else going on here (except avoiding work and cleaning) so we said yes.

I just told Grant we’re going somewhere, and that it was a surprise but it was really fun. He looked at me skeptically and said, “Well, okaaaay. As long as it doesn’t make me sweaty, hot and tired, though.”

I’m pretty sure bowling has never made me sweaty or hot, but I also don’t throw my whole body into getting the ball down the lane like a child does, so hopefully Grant won’t be disappointed if he does, indeed, get hot and sweaty today.

Out of the Mouths of Babes…

Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping, and all of the kids tagged along. Sometimes people are amazed I do this, but the kids are used to being out and about with me, and there’s no drama most of the time. Well, very little.  Yesterday Grant was in what I would call “rare form,” though.

He had his first time out before we even got out of the car in the grocery store parking lot.

As I went around the other side of the van to get Jonah out of his car seat I heard Grant yell at me angrily: “Fine, you weirdo!”

I can only assume he learned that from a TV show or Miles and he doesn’t really know what it means, just thought it would sound appropriate in the moment. Luckily I was already out of his sight so he couldn’t see me clap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. It’s hard to scold a kid for saying something rude when you’re laughing. And laughing would encourage him to do it again, possibly to his preschool teacher, and that would not go over well. I don’t think what he said was right, and I won’t think it’s funny if he says it again, I was just so caught off guard I couldn’t help myself.

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